What Is BDSM?

If you’ve heard of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey, you’ve probably also heard of BDSM.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is a form of sexual lifestyle. BD means Bondage and Discipline, DS means Domination and Submission and SM means Sadism and Masochism.

This lifestyle includes using rope or fabric to tie your partner or blindfold them, using handcuffs to handcuff your partner to the bed or sometimes role-playing.

Domination And Submission

For instance, one party acts as a sex slave, and the other party acts as having power or as a dominant punishing the other person. Domination and Submission are similar to that. Sometimes, the sub has to serve the dom. Other times it involves using collar or chains. But all these activities stimulate their sexual desire.

Usually, the dom is a male but it can also be a female. Because some men, when they see their female partner becomes powerful and brave, controls and orders them around, it might turn them on. Because the society teaches men to always be tough, but when they are able to throw that stigma away and let their partner take the wheel in the bedroom, it’d be a new experience for them.

Sadism and Masochism

Sadism and Masochism involve pain. The Sadist gets off by hurting people, while the Masochist is turned on by receiving pain. Thus, the Sadists use objects like whips or belts to hit their partner, or they light a candle and let it drips on the Masochist.

In other occasions, they use punishing tools or sex toys.

What makes BDSM attractive?

BDSM allows people to do what they can’t normally do in their everyday life. They can become gentle or strong, become the punisher, or be punished.

Consent And Safe Word

These are the two most crucial parts of a BDSM lifestyle. Since this lifestyle includes acting, role-playing and challenging movements, all partners have to sit down, discuss and mutually agree that they want to participate in it.

Consent is very important when it comes to sex. Without consent, it becomes a sexual assault. This is what you should remember and differentiate.

The other important part is safe word. After all partners have sat down and agreed to get into this lifestyle, they have to decide on a safe word. It should be a word that’s rarely used in everyday conversations. For example, bizarre words like Hippopotamus or hanuman. This is like when we were young and we played tag, we use a word to indicate to pause the game.

When a partner uses the safe word, it means all activities must halt. If you only say “NO”, one party might think that this is part of the play. Therefore, a clear safe word is needed to make sure that when it’s said, it means “stop”, and it’s no longer part of the game.

Aftercare

This is another important thing when doing this lifestyle. Aftercare means after the BDSM acts, all parties have to check if the other party needs anything. When you’re injured or excited, your endorphin level will rise. But afterward, when the endorphins fall down, you start to feel the injuries and pain. So the partners have to check to see if there’s any injury or if it needs to be taken care of. Emotional aftercare is another thing. One party has to check their partner to see if any line was crossed, if it was too painful or if there were satisfied.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*